okay i'll admit. i sometimes feel insecure. but could you really blame me? this world is driven by the competitive spirit, everyone is striving to be better than the rest. im not trying at all so sometimes when i see someone who is better than me in any way, i do feel insecure. but i don't let myself be victimized by that feeling because deep down, i know its useless.
i don't want to be Tyra banks and put on tons of makeup each and every day routinely because one day if i don't, people will say OMG all this while her beauty wasn't real. i don't wanna be Mother Theresa because although her work is great, i cant possibly deal with all the sickness and tragedy in the world when i cant deal with my own problems that well. i dont wanna be the next Einstein because i dont want to spend all the time i have to come up with some formula to change the world. but i do wanna change the world. not in its entirety, but just the way the world operates. i don't like how people are accustomed to compete with each other, how people try very hard to push their way to the top even it means for them to change themselves. i mean, whats so great at the top? do you really wanna be in the limelight? sure there are perks but it comes with a lot of maintenance and one small mistake can bring you straight to the bottom of the chain. and plus, you don't really get any real friends there. you don't get people who would stay with you and have your back even if you weren't so awesome.
and that is why, despite my insecurities, I'm comfortable with where i am. i don't need to try to be anyone else but me and i am content :)
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