random rambles

"i've always wanted to say this to you, but i can't bring myself to do so. why? because you are the dominant one. not by mutual agreement, but by force. even if i try to open my mouth during times like these, i'd only get swear words thrown at me. and the worse thing is, i don't even know when it's coming. one minute we're great, then the next minute it's like world war 3 except with only you with the guns. i'm just the whimpering enemy, sitting at the corner getting beat up. i don't understand why this is happening. do i deserve such treatment? because although i may do something wrong at times, i am positive it's not my fault every time. and just because you're in a bad mood, it doesn't give you the right to just shut me out completely. i'm supposed to be there for you. every time i try to talk to you, you say i don't understand the situation because i don't know you. how the heck am i suppose to know you if you keep doing that to me? i'm not a psychic, i'm just a normal human being. and just because i don't show how stressed or sad or wounded i am, doesn't mean i'm not. i'm not a toy you can just pick up whenever you like, i'm by your side as long as we're together. if you're trying to play a game, then i'm sorry but i'm not strong enough to participate. for you to know all this, that's all i want."