its a secret♥

just a few stuff.

2011-08-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

in the midst of all the assignments piling on me, i managed to stumble back to my old blog and reread all my previous entries. at first i was just going to read one or two but then i got really into it. its amazing that with every word i can recall back how the event took place, how i felt during that time. it's as if I'm having reruns of my life played in my head. and i compare it to the life I'm living now, far away from my family. a first year architecture student. living by myself and thus not only do i have to worry about school, i also have to worry about food and bills. it's hard.

truthfully, i have no one here, except for my boyfriend. we are like best buds but it still doesn't beat the feeling of actually talking to a girlfriend. like lets say if i have a fight with him, then there really is nowhere for me to go, no one i can turn to. maybe my egoistic side was a bit cocky when i said i could handle this. i would like to believe so, but i can't fool myself. i could have sworn that i was strong, but there is always a limit.

but i digress..

i finished my foundation in June this year, and have just started on my degree. some days i feel like punching my self real hard in the face for taking this path. i didn't choose this field of study, my father did. and I'm sure if i had known what i wanted to be, what I'm interested in i would have been doing something else. it's not like my parents won't let me do the things i want to do, it's just that i don't know what to do. but then again on other days i am thankful that I'm doing this. i have a whole new outlook on the things around me. i see buildings as works of art. i see them as countless hours of hard work that in the end resulted in majestic beauty. i see how buildings are related to the surroundings, and to the people. it might not be as interesting to you as it is to me, but if you know what i mean you'd be amazed too.

besides that, if i hadn't applied for June intake, if i hadn't applied for foundation in natural and built environments in Taylor's, if i had accepted the offer to UM, if i had continued my wish of traveling for a year before going to college, i would have never met him. and that would be a shame. of course i wouldn't know how it would feel like if i hadn't met him but now that i do, i wouldn't miss it for the world.

happy one year anniversary baby. thank you for being there when I'm down, when I'm nuts, when I'm having my monthly psychopathic outbreaks. you are much more than a boyfriend, you are my best friend and my first true love. i love you so much :)

2010.

2010-12-31T06:14:00.001-08:00

the year i turned 18.
the year i lazed around for 7 months before i went to college.
the year i worked for the first time (which really didnt seem like working, for me).
the year i spent my whole months pay in just a day.
the year i had a lot of drama.
the year i drank and got drunk (just once okay).
the year i went on roadtrips with my buddies.
the year i acted very stupid, purely because i was blinded by love. or so i thought was love.
the year i got my SPM results. couldnt say if i was satisfied or not with them.
the year i spent RM1000 in a day.
the year i had drinking sessions with the boys for like every week, sometimes twice a week.
the year i left KK for KL.
the year i was away from home.
the year i enrolled in college.
the year i met so many international students.
the year i fell in love with one :)
the year i switched from science subjects to arts and struggle to learn how to sketch.
the year i had deadlines and due dates that made sleep a luxury not many people can have.
the year i drew more than i ever had in my entire life.
the year i had to make models.
the year i had weird assignments like creating a song and creating boardgames.
the year i had to actually keep a budget.
the year i lived on my own.
the year i witnessed tonnes of drama around me.
the year i learned from said dramas.
the year i ate more McD compare to my entire life.
the year i ate roasted pork the most.
the year i had to learn to be away from my boyfriend with almost zero contact.
the year i got my navel pierced.
the year i dyed my hair red.
the year i got inked.
the year i felt totally alive.
the year i grew.
the year that's ending.

but it's okay that it's ending, you know. every year without fail i would say that that year has been the best. and every year without fail, it just keeps getting better. every year i experience new things and learn new things and never regret because everything is interconnected. everything that happens always leads to something else. just have to make the right choice.

so 2010, here's a toast for all the good and the bad. every single thing you have given me, i take it all with no regrets. here's hoping for the best next year. cheers :)

random rambles

2010-11-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

"i've always wanted to say this to you, but i can't bring myself to do so. why? because you are the dominant one. not by mutual agreement, but by force. even if i try to open my mouth during times like these, i'd only get swear words thrown at me. and the worse thing is, i don't even know when it's coming. one minute we're great, then the next minute it's like world war 3 except with only you with the guns. i'm just the whimpering enemy, sitting at the corner getting beat up. i don't understand why this is happening. do i deserve such treatment? because although i may do something wrong at times, i am positive it's not my fault every time. and just because you're in a bad mood, it doesn't give you the right to just shut me out completely. i'm supposed to be there for you. every time i try to talk to you, you say i don't understand the situation because i don't know you. how the heck am i suppose to know you if you keep doing that to me? i'm not a psychic, i'm just a normal human being. and just because i don't show how stressed or sad or wounded i am, doesn't mean i'm not. i'm not a toy you can just pick up whenever you like, i'm by your side as long as we're together. if you're trying to play a game, then i'm sorry but i'm not strong enough to participate. for you to know all this, that's all i want."

life-changer

2010-11-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

if a big, life-changing event were to happen to you at this very moment, would you be ready for it? for instance, pregnancy. or a fatal disease. divorce. basically anything that could totally turn your life 360 degrees. will you be ready for it? what will you do? how would you handle it? if it were me, i'd probably go mental. i'm just starting to adapt to being independent and if anything like that happened to me,i would have no idea how to deal with it.

but i guess that's how life goes. for me, if life gives you lemons, and by lemons i mean problems, you can either make lemonade or squeeze the juice out and pour it over them motherfucker's eyes because in life, there are a lot of people who will try their best to screw you over. ignorance is bliss, but revenge is even sweeter :)

2. Something you carry with you every where and why

2010-10-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

my cellphone. why? apart from the obvious reasons like communicating with other people, i use my phone as a mirror. and also to surf the net when im bored. like waiting for the lift. oh, i also use it as a flashlight. so yeah, my handphone is very handy. (hehe sorry for the pun)

1. A celebrity that inspires you

2010-10-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

'nuff said.

btw this is the beginning of my 30 day challenge! :)

what's going on.

2010-10-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

just look at the height difference man. isn't it abnormal how tall he is?

so it's almost november now. most of my assignments are done with, like malaysian studies, moral ed, stupid ici video and enbe project 2. i still have assignments but not as much. enbe project 3 is nice, we're doing interior and i'm gonna make a chair. i don't know how i'm gonna do it since it's my first time. and we have to use recycled items. and i have to make it strong enough so people can sit on it. and also make it look nice like those designer chairs. we have to go to furniture company websites and just look at furniture to get some ideas. i think this project is cool. i know its gonna be super difficult but its interesting.

and according to our provisional time table, i might be going home earlier than i expected. FUCK YEA! but it means i'll be away from aung for a longer period of time and that's not nice :( i'm gonna miss him so much, considering the fact that i'm always with him. every minute of the day. not that i'm clingy or stalking him, we just have all the same classes and stuff. and plus we live at the same place, so yea.

i just hope school won't get any more stressful from this point onwards, c'mon give me a break! i haven't had fun in like 2 months now. pity me pretty please?

webcam madness

2010-10-19T06:19:00.001-07:00

thought.

2010-10-19T04:25:00.000-07:00

it's almost the end of october. november's coming soon which means the end of the year is coming soon. up to this point of the year i can say that 2010 gave me a real slap of reality. but there's still well over 2 month to go and as i have experienced, a lot can happen in that time. so wait till the end of the year for my review of 2010 :)

upcoming events also include end of semester one of my course, moving out of the hostel, CHRISTMAS, semester break which means catching up with friends back home AND being physically separated from aung for two whole weeks, maybe more :(

in the meantime, i'm swamped with assignments. 2 english essays and ICI video. plus project 3 for ENBE is out this thursday. yes, life is great.

you always {snippet}

2010-10-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

leave me hanging, and i can't bring myself to ask you more about it because the truth is i'm scared. i'm scared that one misspoken word might make u mad at me. i'm scared that one small misunderstanding might bring uncertainty. i'm scared that one small mistake might kill me.

for the first time, i'm truly scared.

i know..

2010-10-10T05:26:00.001-07:00

i dont really post about whats going on in my life and i feel like i should, but actually i dont need to but i want to. lol.

so here it is, what's happening in my life.

now i am currently studying at Taylor's University in Petaling Jaya, taking foundation in natural and built environment. i plan on taking architecture for my degree. life is great here. i finally have something to look forward to everyday after 7 months of nothingness before i enrolled. im sorry if what im about to say is going to offend other taylorians but some of the students here can be really fake or snobby but im glad to have found some who are my kind of people :) it's damn expensive here and food, well cheap food, is hard to find but im coping. assignments are super crazy. for example, we were asked to make a song and an interactive model on dreams using analogies. and some assignments are super complicated like i have to make a model of a building which is not a building that incorporates the theme maze and i have to complement the internal and external space to make it as confusing as i can. but its better than having to read science crap 24/7. i like my course :)

i love this place, pj i mean. its not as hectic as kl but you get pretty much the same stores and its great. but since i love on a student budget now, sometimes going to a mall may lead to hair pulling and anxiety attacks. food is also great, its not as all bland and not tasty as my relatives and friends said. maybe theyre just eating at the wrong place :P nightlife is also great. some clubs here are totally nice! some are just... mehhh haha.

um, what else... i think thats all. ive only been here for a little over 2 months. some more next time!

2010-10-09T04:36:00.000-07:00

if it was that easy for you to forget, it just shows how big of a liar you were when u said u meant it.

i'm such a fool.

mixed feelings

2010-10-09T02:06:00.001-07:00

okay i'll admit. i sometimes feel insecure. but could you really blame me? this world is driven by the competitive spirit, everyone is striving to be better than the rest. im not trying at all so sometimes when i see someone who is better than me in any way, i do feel insecure. but i don't let myself be victimized by that feeling because deep down, i know its useless.

i don't want to be Tyra banks and put on tons of makeup each and every day routinely because one day if i don't, people will say OMG all this while her beauty wasn't real. i don't wanna be Mother Theresa because although her work is great, i cant possibly deal with all the sickness and tragedy in the world when i cant deal with my own problems that well. i dont wanna be the next Einstein because i dont want to spend all the time i have to come up with some formula to change the world. but i do wanna change the world. not in its entirety, but just the way the world operates. i don't like how people are accustomed to compete with each other, how people try very hard to push their way to the top even it means for them to change themselves. i mean, whats so great at the top? do you really wanna be in the limelight? sure there are perks but it comes with a lot of maintenance and one small mistake can bring you straight to the bottom of the chain. and plus, you don't really get any real friends there. you don't get people who would stay with you and have your back even if you weren't so awesome.

and that is why, despite my insecurities, I'm comfortable with where i am. i don't need to try to be anyone else but me and i am content :)

my blog, my opinion, my business.

2010-10-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

people would go the extra mile just to be liked. sad, really. let me break it down to you, formula style;

being yourself = do the normal things you do
normal things you do =\= going the extra mile
going the extra mile =\= being yourself = fakers.

therefore,

fakers are sad.

i think

2010-06-02T11:14:00.000-07:00

that the society is too keen on protecting their reputation and won't let a single thing ruin it, guarding it like precious pearls. but for what? why do people need to care about other people's perception towards them? why dont just they live and let live? whatever other people think about you should not influence the decisions you make throughout your life. so what if he don't agree with you? so what if she hates you? that shouldn't be a problem because when you die, they won't die with you.

but that's just what i think.

I HAVE SO

2010-05-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

lost my blogging mojo. like seriously man my last post was like a million years ago. butttttt do not fret because i will attempt to reignite my long gone flame of passion for blogging because.. well because i have nothing else to do and because i like to read back my old posts.

and i just wanna say that i really do not get people who thinks too much of their image and their quest for achieving ultimate superstardom. you know, like try really hard to get popular, "accidentally" befriend all the "cool" people and hang with the 'cool' crowd in 'cool' places. gawd you people are so transparent i can see through your heart and it doesnt look very pretty.

at all.

in the words of my beloved people..

2010-02-23T07:52:00.001-08:00

MANGAN NOPO DO YESSS

back

2010-02-10T05:50:00.000-08:00

have you ever wondered what it would be like if you didn't do that thing you did? imagine life with a 'backspace' button, how would it turn out? do something, find the results not satisfying and just press the button. problem, tension or embarrassment all gone in a split second.

take a step back and try to look at your life. or wherever you're standing. no matter where we come from, no matter what our status in the society, no matter how good or bad we are, i am sure as hell that there is that one thing that you regret doing. okay so maybe you didn't regret doing it but you regret the things that come or happened because of it. the minor side effects that turns out to be the actual catastrophe. i bet you would be looking for that button, right?

sigh.

confessions 1

2010-02-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

how sad is it that when i really need someone to talk to, the only person (or thing) that struck me as the best listener is my long forgotten blog? I'm terribly sorry for the hiatus and the lack of update because well, life after spm wasn't such a coaster ride like what i predicted or hoped it would be.

Truth is, after last year things have been spiraling downwards for me. Never in a million years have i thought that that incident would bring in a chain of events triggered by former events leading to where i am now. For your information, right now i feel like i might as well live under a rock. At least there the temp's not so high.

I'm not blaming others for what i'm going through now because i know i brought this on myself. It's all my fault. Truthfully i have so many reasons why other people should be blamed but from the way i see it, i was the one who started it and i am slowly paying for it. They are all drifting away and i guess it is for the best. I was never a good influence anyway.

it's just

2010-01-08T08:31:00.001-08:00

the start of the year and so much has happened. mostly continuation from last year but still, i feel another roller coaster ride coming.

how's your year so far?

hate is a strong word, don't even think of going there

2010-01-04T08:16:00.000-08:00

i don't know what to do. you said you loved me, is this the way of showing it? i know you're trying to work it out but what your doing is like the total opposite. i told you a hundred times, why can;t you just understand? don't force me to do something i don't want to, i might just hate you and trust me, i RARELY hate people.

goodbye '08. nice knowing ya

2009-12-31T01:55:00.000-08:00

i'm writing this as i wait for replies from the people i barely know of and yet considered to be one of the few i can talk to at this moment, for my mother to call me and for myself to call me. the two last statements are meant in a literal and figurative way, respectively.

as i recall back the moments in 2009, it's an understatement actually to call this year one hell of a good year. this year i feel as if time and reality did a 180 because all the events that happened were just so shocking and well, i couldn't imagine them to happen. but they did. this year was certainly a roller coaster ride with all the 360s and steep falls. ah i love it <3

i don't want to share all the exciting events that occurred because i'm too selfish to share it with you guys :P but i know that it will forever be embedded in my heart. things that happened and didn't happened not only built my confidence, it also built who i am. a whole new challenge awaits me starting tomorrow, and frankly i'm scared to my bones just thinking of what might come. but nevertheless, i have to face it and just put a sock in my mouth. right?

i did it for the best and nothing else.

2009-12-30T19:56:00.000-08:00

this must be the worst year-end ever. its so miserable, its taking my concoction of fake confidence away, smashing it right to smithereens. i can't do this, no one can. neither can i spare the details because it's for the best. i am in no way using anyone else to overcome this, neither am i becoming something I'm not. i have never changed, i never will change. right now everything is falling apart or going away. I CAN'T TAKE THIS. but i will.

it's for the best.

happy new year's eve everyone.

i hope this changes.

2009-12-22T20:56:00.000-08:00

we're two days away from celebrating christmas but i just don't feel it anymore. the anticipation of waiting for the clock to strike twelve is missing. what went wrong? i feel so empty inside, not a trace of happiness or willingness to greet the christmas day. the mood is so down and discouraging that i feel like bailing on christmas. i know, such an atrocious idea and it's twisting my hears poor soul but it's true. christmas just doesn't feel like christmas no more.

spm frenzy

2009-11-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

hey guys! it has been quite a long time since i last posted something here. as you all may already know I'm currently facing my SPM now which is the sole reason to my lack of blogging before SPM even started. for preparation and all. so, so far so good. i haven't stumbled on any questions that made me wanna choke myself on the spot but bio, phys and chem has yet to come. i hope it all goes well.

but weird enough, it seems like I'm out more often than before SPM started. I've been to the movies like four times ever since SPM started which was just last week. i mean, this isn't how it's supposed to be.. right? i really hoe i don't get bad results. not to sound cocky and stuff but i know I'm not gonna fail. but my real goal is to get an A, i don't care if it's A-. as long as its an A. not that I'm aiming for a scholarship (but it would be nice to get one :3) but i just wanna make me momma proud hehe. and it would be nice to have a perfect record, y'know.

but then again, all i can do is dream. and try my best, of course. wish me luck for the few more days of SPM :)

{snippet} graduation

2009-11-12T04:12:00.000-08:00

as we go on
we remember
all the times we spent together
and as our lives change
from whatever
we will still be
friends forever

all the best in everything you do, someday I'll be seeing you <3

{snippet} gee your so lame

2009-11-07T06:43:00.000-08:00

it's one thing to be rude and mean to very nice and very sweet people and another thing to take them for granted and use them. but to do that and give false hope to one person and like 48134 others is just beyond evil. most of the time if you're hot like say megan fox you can most probably get away with it because the stereotypical mindset of the society allows it but to be absolutely unpretty and unhot in any way (and i tried being lenient) is just.. cruel. pure cruelty.

i hope you fall and break your teeth. IN HALF

{snippet} Jennifer's Body

2009-11-07T04:13:00.000-08:00

jennifer's body is a weird movie. my two cents;

i. the guy is so totally cute and sweet but unfortunately he died, just like all the other cute guys in movies like this.
ii. the needy girl (i don't know her real name) has real fashion issues
iii. megan fox does not know how to act and in this movie we can see that she suit the stupid or/and bimbo-ish characters.
iv. the black and sharp thing megan vomited was just uber disgusting.
v. it was an enjoyable movie. i give it a 3/5 and my standards are pretty high.

{snippet} where are you life

2009-11-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

It's a Saturday and my only two options of things to do today is to a) study at home or b) study someplace else. this lack of life is sooo unhealthy for me.

11 more days! D:

{snippet} under the weather

2009-11-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

hello guys :) I'm very sick now, well not really just that it comes and goes and it's very frustrating because there is like one more week left before spm and this is the 11th hour and i should study but i can't because I'm sick. i just hope I'll get better in say.. an hour? hahah fine more realistic, a day so that i can continue on studying. Cassandra says this is because of the lack of sleep + stress + unhealthy diet (i added the last part in because.. well because i have not been eating well). haih~

short

2009-11-03T03:36:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered how two very different people can get along so very well?

*just something that crossed my mind while i was observing something at school just now. yes, pre-exam stress can lead to delusion and partial paranoia. sorry for the short updates, i feel guilty whenever I'm on the Internet :(

announcymento

2009-10-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

sorry for the lack of updates, I'm terribly busy nowadays. well I'm forcing myself to be busy because spm is just 24 DAYS AWAY AHHHHHHHH!but its okay. i shall go through this battle, no. i shall go through this war and live to tell.

*cue army-ish song*

oh and one more thing. but before that i know this might sound like I'm betraying blogger butttttttttttttttt...

i got myself a tumblr. I'm sorry okay! i just like its clean and simple layout the ability to reblog and follow every single interesting blog i find! but I'm still contemplating whether to;

a. stay with blogger.
b. break up with blogger and say hello to tumblr.
c. organize two blogs.

(a) sounds okay but i really like tumblr's layout and you might find this strange but i just feel like blogger is not a place to post short updates, which i usually would WANT to do but end up writing a long post because i felt it didn't look nice. and to those who don't know me, i like things to look nice. (b) sound nice too but there are just too many posts here on blogger that i don't want to abandon. okay this sounds weird also but i am very in touch with my posts. each of them mean different things to me. as for (c), i don't think i have the time and willpower to do so.

so what shall it be guys?

sing me a song

2009-10-17T05:50:00.000-07:00

Hmm, isn't it funny how certain songs can trigger old memories? I'm sitting here typing away while listening to my little cousins singing their heart out on karaoke. The song playing now is Betterman by Robbie Williams which is by the way one of my favourite songs of ALL TIME (yeap, you cant beat robbie williams, hes on top of the list of the unforgettables along with the deceased MJ and well, Britney Spears).

On to my point. As they were singing that song, I was immediately warped back to the time when everything i knew can be written down in about 5 minutes. Back to when there were no worries, so hakuna matata-ish. I can see it perfectly, the whole family and I in Kundasang National park, just having jolly good quality time. I can imagine the night we sat round the fireplace (yes there were fireplaces there back then! I'm not sure if they still are now since the prices soared up sky high and staying there overnight would be the equivalent of the cost of delivering a baby in private clinic. It's true. I checked.) together, just telling ghost stories and screaming every time the older cousins said boo. Haha, such memorable times.

Another song that can make me travel through time is Sunset Glow by Big Bang. It's a Korean song and the memory is pretty recent which was when i went to Korea last year for a school trip. I still can't believe i went there. Last week I saw a show on television about some Korean stuff and the showed a place that was familiar and imagine how cool it was for me to say "Hey, I've been there!". Even though the trips was.. well you could say we faced the music a lot but it's okay, I had a hell of a time. It was a once in a lifetime experience for me. Not the going to Korea, but rather the time spent with my friends running around like a bunch of pilaks and not caring a single bit how stupid we looked like. The year i turned sixteen and got a trip to Korea as one of my presents. Sort of the cause that gave me a boyfriend right now :P (aha you're not hearing that story hehe :3)

so I'm curious, are there any songs that can make you guys remember an old memory? share, comment :)

D:

2009-09-28T05:57:00.000-07:00

I really have nothing to blog about these days. Actually I do have but I don't know, the feeling is just not there.

Cuppa coffee please.

selamat hari raya everyone :)

2009-09-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

I was blog hopping on this very fine day and i stumbled upon Mc's new blog post about children and their thought on love. IT WAS SO CUTE! to read, click here

One of the answers that i most like is this;

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” - Bobby, age 7

Ahh i know that feeling and i love it. It's raya now, and i see a lot of families getting together after being apart for so long. I don't know what it is about these gatherings that makes your heart all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Maybe it's the spirit of togetherness, being safe and sound in each others company.

I especially like Christmas eve because that's the time when we all sit together and talk about the good old days, while waiting for the clock to strike twelve. It don't matter if we made a party or just held a small celebration among ourselves, it's the best feeling in the world :)

Christmas, come soon?

arabian nights

2009-09-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

i just finished watching Aladdin about 5 minutes ago. I never really seen Aladdin before. I did, but not the whole movie. Oh how i love that movie. It's just so.. beautiful.

What i like about the movie is the message it brings. It's not about all the power and money you've got, it's whats inside of you. For those, who like the former me, don't know the story of Aladdin, the story is about a boy named Aladdin who was a pauper and a princess named Jasmine. Long story short, they met and they wanted to get married but being a street-rat, Aladdin can't marry Princess Jasmine because according to law, only royalty can marry the princess. which is bullshit really because we should be able to pick who we want to spend the rest of our lives with, don't you think so?

What if you were a princess and you had to marry one of the princes available. What if all the princes are horrible or the exact opposite of your taste? Wouldn't it be excruciating to be living with that person? What more trying to love that person. Like what i always say, you can't control your feelings. Therefore, you can't choose who you love. It's nothing like what the werewolves in Twilight can do, which is imprinting. You can't just look at someone and imprint and forever be in love with that person. No, it doesn't happen that way. I know most of you would say 'Ah, this girl is just some other teenager thinking that she knows it all'. No, i don't know it all but i know this; you can't force feelings. Not love, not hate, not nothing. Sure, you can force me to eat vegetable (very very hard, don't try) but you can't force me to like it because I don't. Kind of off topic but I just wanted to give an example and that was the only one i could come up with.

Well in the end, Aladdin married Princess Jasmine because the Sultan amended the rules and said 'The Princess can marry anyone she deems worthy'. It was just splendid. I loved it <3

i can show you the world. shiny, shimmering, splendid. tell me princess now when did you last let your heart decide?

What's your favourite Disney movie?

random

2009-09-18T01:39:00.000-07:00

so it's the holidays again. suddenly the Government thought, 'Hey, why don't we give the students one extra day of holiday? sure it's SPM and PMR soon but Hari Raya is more important. the spirit of togetherness is more important. 1Malaysia is more important.'

Yea well not for me. sure, i love holidays. Who doesn't? But at this 11th hour, you have keep aside your wants and focus on your needs, no matter how much you dread them. And my need is for me to study and pass my SPM with flying colours or just normal colours lol. But Hari Raya is more important.

Anyhoo, nothing much has happened this past few days which explains why i haven't blogged much. I'm having my second SPM trials on the 28th which i will miss because i will be going for the JPJ test. I'm dead nervous about it because i suck big time driving a manual. My only problem is with gear one and two because you can't release the clutch immediately, right? And what i do is the exact opposite. Or sometimes i hit the gas too hard. And you know what happens. But other than that I'm fine. I hope I'll get some lessons from my cousin tomorrow.

This is all very random. I don't know what to say. Sometimes i just feel like posting stuff so that i don't become a disgrace to the blogging society. Like the people who make blogs but don't really post stuff. I mean, one or two weeks is okay but for months? Might as well delete it. I don't know, i was like that last time. I'm not even sure if i really mean what i say now, given my raging hormones.

Okay I'm gonna shut up now. back pain :(

question.

2009-09-14T14:40:00.000-07:00

do you believe in long-distance relationships?

most accurate personality quiz i have ever taken on the net.

2009-09-12T06:16:00.000-07:00

i found the link to this personality quiz from Yen's blog and as much as i despise (but not so) quizzes that tell me things i already know (or supposed to), these quizzes sometimes just makes me realise things about myself more. things i never knew/kind of knew but never noticed about me. makes me think, really.

click here for those who are interested in the quiz.

here is my result.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

i think i shall write a message in a bottle too.

2009-09-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

A Maryland student's note stuffed in a corked wine bottle spent five years bobbing across the Atlantic until it washed ashore this summer on an English beach, where it was picked up by a retired electrician walking his golden retriever.

For seven weeks, Tony Hoskings, who lives in Cornwall, tried to find the note's author. He searched the Internet and sought the help of his local newspaper. This week, he found him - 19-year-old Daniel Knopp, who is a political science major at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County.

Knopp was a 14-year-old student at Havre de Grace High School traveling with his parents, James and Grayson Knopp, and sister, Rachel, aboard the Royal Caribbean's Grandeur of the Seas, when he wrote the short note on June 21, 2004, inserted it in a discarded wine bottle, corked it and tossed it from his family's stateroom balcony.

The ship, on a cruise from Baltimore to the Caribbean, had just departed Freeport in the Bahamas.

"I never thought of it again," Knopp said. "I completely forgot about that day. I thought it would be unreal if it were ever to be found, but I figured it would be destroyed by the ocean environment."

But ocean currents carried the bottle 4,000 miles until it landed on the sandy Cornwall beach in southwest England. It washed up at Perranporth, where Hoskings found it July 18.

"There is a group of us who walk our dogs on the beach," he said. "I know the bottle washed in that day because the beach is swept clean every day by a machine."

Hoskings, who lives in nearby Goonhavern, said he decided to make a family event out of his discovery and waited until his grandchildren came for a visit the next Thursday. When the note wouldn't come out easily, he took a glass cutter and opened the bottle's bottom.

The assembled family read the note, which said: "Hello, my name is Daniel Knopp. I am on a cruise ship. I hope whoever reads this finds great joy. God bless. I live in the Baltimore/DC area."

The message piqued Hoskings' interest about the sender.

"It was quite a journey, and if you traveled all those thousands of miles, I think you would want your people to know you had made it safely," Hoskings said.

He said the green-glass bottle was encrusted with barnacles. It had lost its label but its bar code remained

"It was amazing how readable the message was," Hoskings said.

He turned to Facebook and found an entry but was not sure it was the right Knopp. He also contacted his local newspaper, the West Briton. A reporter there, Josie Purcell, contacted journalists at The Baltimore Sun.

Knopp, who had been a summer intern at Baltimore's City Hall on a mayoral fellowship, turned up on Internet searches and, on Sunday, he confirmed that he was the author of the message in the bottle.

"It's a very novel story, truly romantic in the classic nautical sense," said Harrison Liu, a spokesman for Royal Caribbean International.

done and done.

2009-09-12T03:43:00.000-07:00

okay im kind of done with my template. not really satisfied though because i generated this template but did a few/a lot of changes to make it look like what it looks now. overall im satisfied because;
a. it's pink
b. it's obviously not plain white
c. the colour compliments my header
d. i still get to enable comments

why (d)? well because i have been searching through Blogskins for the codes to enable comments and all the codes i pasted didn't work! either;

a. they don't show up
b. they show up but its not clickable
c. they show up and are clickable but there's no place to put in comments.

i spent a grand total of 2 hours just looking for the codes. in my world, two hours is like two days! i can do a whole bunch of better, more fun and more educational (if i may) stuff like read, revise and play facebook games which i admit i am very addicted to. but let the bygones be bygones and now my layout is perfect! in technical terms lah.

a little off topic now, does anyone out there enjoy Saw movies? because i'm searching for similar types of movies so if you have any suggestions, you know the drill. COMMENT!

goodnight readers :)

2009-09-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

gahhh I'm so sleepy. will continue with my layout tomorrow. in the meantime, it will look like this. ugly and dodgy. bear with me please.

i just

2009-09-11T03:54:00.001-07:00

changed my header, as you can see. i was feeling bored all afternoon so i decided to make a new one. but hold your tail feathers because this blog skin is under construction. yes you heard me, i will attempt to make my very own blog skin. technically its not the first but it will be the first one i actually use. so stay tuned okie dokes? im open for suggestions, who know you have a creative mind out there that is in dire need to be expressed :) comment!

i like picture quotes. where can i get more?

2009-09-11T03:48:00.000-07:00

absence

2009-09-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

have you ever experienced a moment in time where you just felt like something is wrong? as if you lack of something? as if you feel incomplete? an absence of.. something. it doesn't necessarily mean that there is something missing. sometimes in life you just feel overwhelmed with the feeling of not being complete that you take a step back and wonder, "what the fuck is wrong?" well in my honest opinion, this feeling of absence is there because that person knows what he or she is missing. they are just denying it, over and over again up to a point where they get angry or frustrated because of that. it's a little bit difficult to understand, but I'm sure most of you have had this feeling. or maybe you have had this feeling, but you don't really realise you've got it. don't worry, i didn't realise it myself. i just started to think about it lately, so i decided to blog it. hm, what's your opinion?

i found this at deviantart.com. never knew they submitted poems there

2009-09-10T05:21:00.001-07:00

I feel your hands in my hair.
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.

I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.

I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love it.

I taste your lips.
I taste your tongue.
I taste your throat as I kiss it.
I taste your love.
I taste your passion.
I taste you and I love it.

I smell your colone as I hold you.
I smell your shampoo as I hug you.
I smell your toothpaste as I kiss you.
I smell your excitement as you cuddle me.
I smell the smell I've been waiting so long to smell.
I smell you and I love it.

I feel you.
I hear you.
I see you.
I taste you.
I smell you.
I do all these things and I love it.

I'm finally with you.
You're finally here.
I love it.
I love you.

it's okay. it's always okay.

2009-08-30T17:33:00.000-07:00

"when you're in love, you're wiling to do any crazy and impossible thing imaginable for that person in you're heart because love is a leap of faith, and sometimes you just have to jump." -labor pains.

no pain no gain. gain = licence

2009-08-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

i started my driving classes this week. at first it was so hard, which was quite a shocker because I've always thought driving was easy. well that was through my observation. it was completely different when I'm behind the wheel. but as of today i honestly think I'm getting the hang of it. i spent an hour plus driving alone on the circuit just now while marion was somewhere chatting =.= but I'm glad he left me alone because i get to really practice. it just feels different, practicing alone and practicing with a tutor. tomorrow, hopefully, I'm going to go for the QTI test. wish me luck!

different.

2009-08-25T19:27:00.000-07:00

in my whole 17 years of living, i have moved a lot of times. not that frequent but more than average. I've met a lot of people, different personalities and traits, especially when i started secondary school or specifically middle school. when i was 13 i started to see changes in people. weird changes, really. but during that time, the phrase 'normal is boring' was like a verse from the bible for the teenagers. then 14 came, then 15, 16 and now 17, i still see changes. change is good, but there is one that's really... i don't know. i cant seem to understand why they act that way. you must be confused right now, so let me explain. have you ever met the type of people that think they're cool just because they are 'different'? I've seen a lot of people trying their best to be something they're not just to be cool. they would talk like they don't care (at all times), look for songs no one has heard of and listen to it even though they don't really get it, watch indie flicks just to brag about it, read the books no one knew existed and stuff like that. have you met people like this? why do you want to be different? if you're naturally different then that's a whole other thing but faking it, i just don't get the concept. is it so bad to blend in with the society? why do you want to stand out so much to the point of obsession? isn't it better if you just be yourself? whats more funny is that everyone is trying so hard to be different, which makes them all the same. i know its against my principles to talk about other peoples likes and dislike but i can assure you, i don't have a negative feedback on this matter. this is just merely my opinion. and i would love to hear yours. comment!

tagged by mc. and now tagging frictions of life, accumulating minds, aldo loves, la mew and can you keep my secret.

2009-08-21T17:24:00.000-07:00

I hate this part. But. Whats your name?
jillian.

Don't you just love Panic at the Disco?
i do! they're so weird and interesting.

Have you seen a Nightmare Before Christmas?
sadly, no. i tried to catch the show a couple of times on tv but never managed to. is it any good? i see a lot of nightmare before christmas merchandise selling in town. come to think of it, there's too much till i'm getting sick of it =.=

Are they any song lyrics that describe how you feel, at this very second?
hmm.. *thinking*

Country Music...do ya love it or hate it?
not really into it.

So..why exactly are you doing this survey?
because

Do you like to instant message?
its a better alternative to texting when you have a lot of things to say.

What are your opinions on Spongebob?
annoying piece of household utensil.

Is there someone that you just flat-out hate?
nope. why hate when you can love? :)

Do you plan on moving out of your parents house when you turn 18?
i am going to move out when i turn 18. for college, of course.

Whats your favorite State?
in malaysia? none other than sabah.

Are you in Love?
yes.

Are you disgusted by feet?
no not really. but if its really dirty and smelly then who the hell would not be disgusted?

Have you ever kissed someone more than 10 times in a row?
doesn't that count as a make out?

Do you love music?
yes but it's not something i could die living without. but it's definitely somewhere at the top of the list.

Do you look on photobucket for good quotes?
nope.

Got any obsessions?
I'm obsessed with new stuff. sometimes i feel like i go shopping just to buy new stuff, and not because i need or want it. :S

Have you ever been in love?
i AM in love.

Are you any good at math?
i'm not saying i'm good but i definitely don't suck at it.

Do you have a favorite pair of jeans?
hmm, no not really.

Are you listening to anything right now?
remembering sunday - all time low. i can't stop listening to this song!

Are you what I would call a Myspace addict?
no, but i'm facebook addict though. haha yes i admit it.

Do people's typos bother you?
not really.

Have you ever been so happy, that you thought you were dreaming?
haha yes! it happens a lot these days.

Whos your best friend?
the stupid girl.

What high school do/did/ you go to?
st. michael.

Do really care about peoples feelings?
i do.

Katy Perry...Musical Genius or Lip Syncing Diva?
katy perry is stupid.

Me and my friends love llamas...Whats your favorite animal?
dogs! the cute furry ones are love.

Who makes you happiest?
who? the people around me. ily guys :)

Do you paint your nails?
yes.

Are you on a crappy computer?
no but i am on a crappy net connection.

Do you know who Old Gregg is?
lol no?

Have ever been afraid to tell someone that you like/love them?
nope. i don't think so.

Do acronyms hurt your feelings?
not really. but it gets annoying when people use it too much.

Dont you hate it when people talk "lyk dis, cuzz ! m s00 c00 d@g"?
i don't really hate it, just.. dislike very much.

Any songs stuck in your head right now?
remembering sunday - all time low.

Can you play any instruments?
guitar, piano.

Your on an island...you can bring one person. Who is it?
can i bring two please?

Dont you just love tinkerbell?
no. she's annoying.

What religion are you?
christian - catholic.

Got any plans for the weekend?
movie marathon and some much needed retail therapy.

Are you what we call a flirt?
no. but cassandra taught me how to flirt though. she said we must tilt our head and act like a blond.

What was the song of your summer?
we don't have summer here but we do have school break in the middle of the year. so at that time, my song was.. gee - snsd. HAHAHA!

Is this the best year of your life?
i haven't went through my whole life so i can't really answer this question. but i definitely love this year.

Are you a band geek?
no.

Do you brush your teeth daily?
everyday, twice a day.

Can you look at something, and then think of someone?
hahahah yes!

Have you ever wanted to just curl up in a ball and die?
nope. i like living.

Whats your all-time favorite memory?
can't choose.

Someone randomly walks up to and says "Do you love me?" what do you say?
why thank you :3

Are the Beatles amazing or what?
legendary.

Is there someone that can break your heart by only saying a few words?
hmm.. i think so.

Are there any songs that have the ability to make you cry?
yes!

Is rap lame or what?
it's funny hahaha.

read and answer dahlings

2009-08-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

so i was talking to my friend the other day and she told me about this friend of hers. we shall call her.. veronica. now, veronica was in a relationship with um.. bobby for like a year plus. they had a few kinks in their relationship but hey, that's normal right? well wrong because veronica is kind of a control queen and bobby actually didn't like that but he just kept quiet. after a year plus, he got bored of veronica and her constant whining and sulking so he left her to pursue another girl. veronica, as any other girl would, wept and boy did she wept a lot. bobby told his friends that he would rather die than get back together with veronica. so they laughed it off and he tried his best to win the other girl's heart. but to no avail because the girl liked someone else. so after his plan backfired, he apologised to veronica and asked if they could get back together. and they did. mind you, she knew that bobby was after the other girl after they broke up.

now, what would you do if you were in veronica's shoe? would you just accept him back? reply and comment please! i would very much like to know your opinion :)

i got a feeling.

2009-08-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

have you noticed?
do you see anything different?
in case you said yes (you better), YES I CHANGED MY HEADER! the idea hit me this morning during chemistry paper 3. actually, its been quite sometime since i wanted to change my layout. i wanted to do a whole blogskin but you know lah, malas. hehe. so i did the header only. i made drafts this morning and did it just now. such a small thing and it took me nearly an hour to do it. tell me what you think, yea?

my english essay lolz

2009-08-13T23:35:00.001-07:00

"life is all about learning, and love can be a fantastic teacher."

:3

wtf its so boring. i used to complain having no time but now im complaining of having too much time! sigh, what to do.

i wish i had junk food here. that would take away my excess time a bit.

i wish i had the latest sims too. but wait, then i would have absolutely no time.

ahhh i know, i should watch a movie. but ive seen all the ones i have. :(

suggestions?

kantoi

2009-08-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

by zee avi. i like her. shes nice. :B

so today we had sejarah and add maths, both paper 2. i'm quite happy with my answers and i'm glad both of the papers are done. now i'm just waiting for my science subjects then it'll not be so.. excruciating hahaha.

hmmmmmmmmmmm. i want mango sorbet. and chocolate chips <3

life is so unpredictable. just when

2009-08-09T06:19:00.000-07:00

you thought things like that will never happen, then BAM! it did. shitloads of creepy, weird and intemeristing stuff has happened these past few months. its like the world is 180 degrees upside down inside out now. people getting together, people breaking up, people breaking people (?), lost friends, new found buddies, enemies turn tables, people stalking up to the extreme TILL THEY FOLLOW YOU TO CHURCH :P, people changing and all that. you know what i mean. most tend to regret the mistakes they themselves make but don't you think that's why the good stuff happens? i can't stop wondering myself.

yes im starting to use proper punctuations now

2009-08-08T02:05:00.000-07:00

i don't get it. why is it so hard for people to just accept the fact that its over? i mean, i know you'll be saying 'it didn't happen to you, you don't know how it feels' but seriously, its starting to affect other people. and as a fellow female, i seriously do not support what you're doing. i know it is mean but it's a disgrace to other girls out there. you give girls a bad name. please, stop what you're doing and let the man go in peace. i'm not siding on anyone here, both are in the wrong but there's no need to get hasty. let him go, and i'm sure you'll find happiness again.

i love i love i love.

2009-07-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

yesterday i celebrated my 17th birthday. oh it was a memorable one :) i feel confused. should i be angry or be happy? but i was glad it turned out well. no, it turned out perfect <3

thanks to all who came to the party. at least i did something for my last party here. aaaaaaaaaahhh im so old now ><

GREAT SUCCESS!

2009-07-17T03:55:00.000-07:00

my laptop is back and its freakin bumblebee yellow lol :3

crapola

2009-07-09T14:37:00.000-07:00

i dont like it when people change. i really dont.

"but its okay,
ill be alright,
ill live by through it all
tonight."

i am so bored of you

2009-07-02T14:27:00.000-07:00

stupid spm shit. haihz please be over soon?

discovery sleepover (i insist)

2009-06-13T23:29:00.001-07:00

got back from discovery camp *cough* sleepover *cough* yesterday. was damn tired =.= but it was fun :) i especially loved the talks given this time round more than the last camp because.. i dont know. maybe they elaborated it in a more __ way. im sorry i lost my vocabs this hols, the blank there is for a word that i cant seem to find. feel free to comment and suggest the right one hehehe. the workshop were fun too, butttt not as fun as the pure party. but before the party all the three workshop did presentations and i have to say, these people are really talented. its nice to know that theyre using it for the better. THEN it was the step forward party. i had no idea they could dance like that! and non stop! i bet they lost at least a kilo with all that dancing. then at 11 it was time to go to bed but being the teenagers, we all went to bed at 12 plus i think. i slept at 1. haha sorry i fell asleep.. and i regret sleeping late cuz the next day i was so sleepy during mass. but lucky for me everyone else was too hahahahha. too bad the discovery camp ehem sleepover was only for 2 days, they should make longer. i bet it would be even more fun and awesome. maybe next year?

:(

2009-06-09T23:53:00.000-07:00

i miss your comments about my stories.
i miss your trademark emoticon. (?)
i miss your fetish for stupid stuff.
i miss your transgender personality.
i miss your lame pick up lines.
i miss your weird language.
i miss our lame convos.
i miss your lame jokes.
i miss your ramblings.
i miss your ego.
i miss you.

just some photos to fill my brog.

2009-06-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

MUST. LOSE. WEIGHT. nauuuuuuuuuuu

2009-06-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

this week has been super busy + tiring + fattening. open house every day, how can my poor tummy resist??? davy and anjelas wedding reception was on last night, oh i meant last last night. gosh my timings all in confoosion. pictures up later, i need sreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. :B

UPDATE!

will post some more up after i get them from audrey. now you might be wondering why i put up a pic of soy sauce. well thats because THAT WAS THE BEST SOY SAUCE IVE EVER TASTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE. hahahah shut up, i no weird >.<

jaded.

2009-05-23T01:24:00.000-07:00

what a lazy saturday. im still thinking of what to do since.. 5 this morning. weird, i know. but when youre used to always having stuff to do you will feel lost on days like this. which comes once in a blue moon i might add.

so the other day a friend of mine and i were discussing on how guys are like physics and girls are like chemistry. lemme give you the picture, physics : logic, common sense, simple explaination, one answer can be used for numerous questions. chemistry : complicated, doesnt make sense at all, one answer is like 400 times the length of the question, very specific. see the similarity?

example 1.
bob and betty were sitting down, drinking coffee when betty suddenly spot a scratch on the floor.
betty: BOB! look at that!
bob: (peeks from behind the newspaper) oh...kay?
betty: oh..kay? okay? tell me, what do you see bob?
bob: ..the floor?
betty: look closer!
bob: its..brown?
betty: gahhhh theres a scratch on the floor! a scratch bob, a scratch!
bob: ohhhhh no wonder i didnt saw it. its so freakin tiny! relax, no one will notice.
betty: no one will notice? NO ONE WILL NOTICE? i noticed bob, i did! what about my feelings huh?? HUH???

example 2.
bob and betty were sitting down, sipping tea when betty suddenly spots another scratch on the floor.
betty: BOB! theres another scratch on the floor! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
bob: oh yea, about that. i dropped my hammer the other day and it left a scratch. sorry.
betty: (fumes coming out of her earholes)
bob: you okay there betty?
betty: thats your explanation? 'oh i dropped a hammer, im sorry'?. why did you drop the hammer there? why didnt you drop it say, outside on the grass? why did u even brought the hammer in? did you had something to repair in the house? did you break anything in the house? what did you break? oh i know, all this happened when i was at the grocers, didnt it? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING FROM ME BOB?

i think you get the picture. unless you are.. you know. illiterate.

...

oooh i see a penny!

=.=

okay im in the shuttle heading back to reality. start the countdown! 10 9 8 7 6 5 whoops the counting thingy broke. he he he..

KRIS ALLEN <3 major fan mode

2009-05-21T14:38:00.000-07:00

yeayyyy he won! i feel so happy when i watched the show last night. i knew he won already but i still felt euphoric when he was given the title. youre gonna be a major hit, kris. id buy alllllllll your albums. for those who dont really like him *cough*ornel & bradley*cough* try listening to falling slowly, the studio version. or any other kris allen song, they ALL sound guuuuuuuuuuuuuuud :B

ilyka :)

what happened?

2009-05-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

haha yeah right, bffs. either forever just ended or it changed from b to a.

short.

2009-05-10T03:27:00.000-07:00

I believe in memories

they look so, so pretty when I sleep

hectic, oh so hectic man! dance prac every other day, i swear im gonna damage my self. auditions tomorrow! cross fingers >.<

ahhhh headache headache

2009-04-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

i had a very interesting conversation with my friend today in add maths class. and this particular conversation has roused some pretty mind-boggling thoughts in my puny little brain. can you run away from a feeling? it was a really good question, and i think the answer is no. hers was the opposite of mine, though i cant fathom why.

who is responsible for picking the people we like? is it some voluntary or involuntary action? can we control our mindset and choose whoever we like? if so then would it be a real feeling? if not then what happens when you just happen to like a world class criminal out set to kill anything in sight? peculiar as it may sound stuff like these do happen.

what if...you like someone you cant have? then who is to blame? is it yourself for liking someone that you may or may not already know is impossible for you to have? or is it something that we have no total control of? is it something that can be done and undone by ourselves? or is it something that has been prescribed in the scriptures wayyyyyy before you were born, like a prophecy just waiting to happen? and when that happens, the one getting hurt would be you. the sad part is that you didnt even asked for it.

i wish we had control.

oh lolli pop pop

2009-04-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

have you ever wanted to be another person just for a day? forget all your worries and stress, all your problems, your distress? have you ever wanted to know what it would be like, if you werent you for one or two daylights?

so yesterday was our school hari anugerah kecemelangan. i got an anugerah yeay clap hands hahaha. no seriously, clap. those. hands. it was pretty much a boring event. except the rainism part. like dayummmm i didnt know they had it in them! haha good job bad boys ;)

then i went to oneborneo with my cousin a.k.a my driver to look for birthday presents. i found the perfect presents for them, i just hope they like it lah.but i wrapped it up soooo pretty. if i got the gift i would think twice before opening it cuz its just so damn pretty. hahahaha

and that night was their small birthday celebration. i got back a lil late which explains why i just woke up hehehhe. all in all i relaxed yesterday. okay now back to reality in 3, 2, 1 *poof*

confused, but its okay cuz i know i have you *nothing to do with the post.

2009-04-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

i got back from sandakan last night. overall it was an okay trip. couldve been better if ms kissass and mrs ass didnt act like themselves during the entire trip. im telling you, i have witnessed the most amazing kiss ass scene in the history of mankind and martians alike. thats excluding how unfair they were! and you call yourself a teacher *disgusted look*. i feel sorry for my school already, not knowing the wave of shame thats gonna hit and crash it soon. but i have learned to accept all human flaws no matter how awful it would be. and i would really like to thank a friend of mine for being so concerned about me. all my life, no one has ever got the nerve to tell me off or give me real advice but you did and i have to say it amazed me on how good you are. but im sorry i cant promise to do it sooner. i promise i will but not now, okay? but dont worry, like i said i am in total control of myself. im sorry for breaking your heart too. seriously. this will be our dirty little secret :)

sunduckan.

2009-04-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

i am now at the hotel room, TYNG GARDEN HOTEL SANDAKAN. i was pretty amazed, didnt thought sandakan would be like this. but all in all okay la. its still my first night, so no point being judgmental. no that i am though. tomorrows rehearsal! i think. and good friday.

updates soon. follow me on twitter, much much more updated.

ever so real, ever so true.

2009-04-07T05:48:00.000-07:00

i like it, for now. and forever? <3

short post, im on my way to la la land.

2009-04-05T07:24:00.000-07:00

i know you mean it, i know you do

i know those vicious words were true

but its okay, ill be alright

ill live by it all tonight

on sat i went to cyn's party, like 2 and a half hours late. lol i had a very good reason for that. it was fun i guess, setting aside all the party poopers. happy birthday cyn, you go girl <3

ahhh i wanna make one too. should i?

happy 100th post.

2009-04-03T06:52:00.000-07:00

you said you loved me so

on a night years ago

i believed you; every word

ridiculous, absurd.

you never showed affection

you gave me no attention

i thought i had to wait

i sit and contemplate

and the time pass by

i can't help but sigh

is this wait ever gonna end?

your actions, i can't comprehend

i thought you were acting mean

when you said what a waste i had been

but you never faltered

you left my heart all shattered

those piercing words you voiced

left me sadly poised

the door is closed for you

i cry but start anew

one day I'll make you see

how wrong you were about me

one day you will realise

real eyes realise real lies

i want one to play with.

2009-03-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

so so beautiful.

i want my money back.

2009-03-30T05:30:00.000-07:00

how i miss your rantings. do you miss my all-time lows?

you know what bugs me? the fact that i have a lot of friends, yet i still feel so alone. *pause for emo moment*

hm.

earth hour :)

2009-03-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

so last nite was earth hour. i thought one hour was gonna be super duper long but check check it went by as fast as the lightningz. people were like spamming my inbox. well, its understandable cuz when you are devoid of stuff to do, friends are always there. true my lovelings? hahaha.

then after that i was supposed to go to cassandra's house but something came up and imsow sowwy(hahah ew man).

then after that i was supposed to go online and talk about the work but my connection decided to be an ass and im sowwy again.

then i was supposed to wait till my dad repaired it o whatever he does with it but i fell asleep so im sowwy to the max.

teehee.

tagged by iva - lama din talk to u grrrrrl

2009-03-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

1st Tag Directions : Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment (''You're tagged!'') and to read your blog, you can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

2nd Tag direction-List 5 things that has to something to do with you.
i have braces also iva hahaha.
i have elastics which looks like i have gum stuck in between my upper and bottom jaw.
i dont eat veggie and any type of nuts.
my laptop has a mood when to on and off which is totally unpredictable.
i havent shopped for a month and i died a little on the inside because of that.

5 things you love the most.
friends.
chocolates.

food.

money to buy chocolates and food.
shopping.

5 things you hate the most.
show offs.

fakers.
anything with more than four feet.
sexists.
people who underestimate me just cuz im short wawawa

5 things beside you.
pillow.
cellphone.
breaking dawn.
blanket.
laptop charger.

5 things you need the most.
food.
money.
new stuff.

fun.

f&f :)

People to tag

SARAH PEARLY

ALDO

ADVERAY

DONALD

FERA

SARAH PEARLY BLUEBERRY MUFFIN sorry gt belated sikit teehee

2009-03-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

may the golden muffinz shower u with plates of joy and bowls of luck ^^

nah some muffinz for youh ;)

jilleology - i tag DONZY JESSY TERI/SITA hehe AD ALDO THEGUYNEXTDOOR

2009-03-25T02:15:00.000-07:00

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology".

IF I'VE TAGGED YOU, PLEASE DO THIS QUIZ AND TAG SOME OTHER PEOPLE!

********FOOD-OLOGY********

What is your salad dressing of choice?
: er, i dont eat veg.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
: so far.. kenny rogers. hhahaha

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
: currently..macaroni salad oh yumm

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
: cheese, cheese and more cheese

What do you like to put on your toast?
: butter. i dont really take toasts

********TECHNOLOGY********

How many computers / televisions set are there in your house?
: 3 laptop, 1 desktop, 3 TVs

What colour cell phone do you have?
: red and black. oh i want a new one pretty please

********BIOLOGY********

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
: righty

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
: skin. dead skin lah hehe

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
: my bag

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
: nope

********BULLCRAPOLOGY********

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
: no

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
: hmm. something really bizarre like... i dunno.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
: hahah never man

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
: NONE CUZ THE BLOODY DOG BAWA LARI dammit

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
: never

Last person you talked to?
: my bro

Last person you hugged?
: not sure. i hug a lot nowadays haha

********FAVORITOLOGY********

Season?
: fall

Holiday?
: year end break

Day of the week?
: fridays and sats

Month?
: november

********CURRENTOLOGY********

Missing someone?
:not really

Mood?
: unfathomable

What are you listening to?
: who's loving you - matt giraud

Watching?
: the monitor

Worrying about?
: college. hahah blm lg spm lolz

********RANDOMOLOGY********

First place you went this morning?
: bathroom

What's the last movie you saw in cinema?
: eden lake. nice

Do you smile often?
: without a doubt

********QUESTIONS********

1) Do you always answer your phone?
: depends on whos calling me

2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
: probably digi hahah

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?
: something weird like purple or grey

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
: er..

5) Do you own a digital camera?
: no

6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
: yea. i got pet fishES

7) Favorite Christmas song?
: this christmas, have yourself a merry little christmas, the christmas song, santa baby

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
: a new phone, wads of cash

9) Can you do push ups?
: not sure :S

10) Can you do a chin up?
: dont think so

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
: nervously excited, excitingly nervous?

12) Do you have any saved texts?
: uh huh

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
: no

14) Do you have an accent?
: dunno. i dont think so

15) What is the last song to make you cry?
: untouchable memories - all for one

16) Plans tonight?
: BREAKING DAWN!

17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
: er.. not sure. i try to avoid sadness by any means

18) Name 3 things you bought in the last day?
: as in yesterday? food, like 3 kinds of food haha

19) Have you ever been given roses?
: hahahaha

20) Current worry?
: spm. and college

21) Current hate right now?
: the fact that i stayed in this stream for over a year

22) Met someone who changed your life?
: yes. more than a person actually

23) How did you bring in the New Year?
: karaoke, bbq, gossip, other food besides bbqd ones

24) What song represents you?
: haha dunno

25) Name three people who might complete this?
: donald, ser (done), jessy

26) What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
: generating eye gunk hoho

27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
: oh shitz im late!

28) Who was the first person you thought of when you woke up?
: hehe :x

independant woman?

2009-03-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

a while back i had this kind of debate with a friend of mine about the position of guys and girls in this so-called hierarchy. and from what i had um, analysed (?) from our little debate is that the female kind are still considered the weaker one.

u cannot imagine how infuriated i was.

i dont really know where i got this feminist vibe from but i am 100% sure that i am not going to let ANY man order me around. what saddens me is that i still see that everyday. boyfriends giving orders to girlfriends as if they were pets, one real example that i happen to see with my own eyes. it doesnt happen to everyone, i know, but it does happen. if anybody tried to do that to me id be happy to bash their balls. i mean, wake up! that might be the hip thing back then but in case you havent noticed, its the 21st century now. im not saying that women should be more superior than men (though that might be a good idea :D) but we should be given equal rights not just politically but also socially, economically and intellectually as well. am i right or am i right??

i have always hated it when people (mostly male and the elderly) say 'a womens place is in the kitchen, cooking for the husband' or 'women cant be the breadwinner of the family, its a job fit for a man only' or even the slight mocking look they give when a woman tries to do a mans job like chopping wood or stuff like that. this kind of stereotypical thinking really bugs me up to the extent where i would find peace if i just strangled them. sick, i know.

i heard on the radio last week i think about this woman with a high-powered career being in a relationship with a mere mechanic. when he proposed to her, he asked her to quit her job so that they would be of the same social class. LIKE WHAT THE FISHES AND DOGS DUDE? that is a solid proof which confirms that there are still overly egoistic men out there who cannot take it if their spouse were more succesful WHICH MEANS that they (men) should be more succesful than their spouse WHICH CLEARLY SUPPORTS MY POINT that women are still considered as the weaker one.

hm. just some food for thought.

happy monday hohoho

2009-03-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

on monday, which was 16.03.09, which was right after the yfc camp, the yfc members planned an outing to centrepoint it was so last minute cuz like theo called me at 11 and said 'hey come lets go out to cp at 12'. so like i said ill be a little late cuz i have a meeting with grace. and coincidentally adger wasd in dggn cuz he had to take care... of stuff. so i discussed with him and don so we agreed to meet each other in dggn and dons mom will send us to kk. but then when she came her mom tidak jadi instead she asked us to take a cab and its on her. okay lah, as long as we get to our destination. that day there were like 10 of us i think. me, adger, don, hugo, humanson, theo, jessy, elsa, aaron, jason, aldo,jody and.. oh that only. we played pool first (well them lah cuz i have no idea how to play that game) and talked. then don, hugo and i went to ngiu kee to buy pringles HAND IN HAND ALL THE WAY OKAY. hahahah funnny moments. then it was movie time, aldo treated don and i popcorn and soda thankk youuuuu do :) we watched race to witch mountain. that movie was average guess. i like the rocks sense of humour. then after the movie we went to palm cafe and aaron treated don and i our drinks. thnks aaron :) like gila this we all take pictures. that adger la that. i have never, ever met a guy as vain as him. not that its a bad thing, its good actually hahahahah. at least i get to camwhore hehehehe. we went home at like 6.45 after A LOT of camwhoring. aaron insisted on sending me home but i said just drop me off at cks. even that pun wanna argue this hahahhaha. well all in all i had A LOT of fun. pure 100% undeniable fun. here are pics! since my blog has been devoid of pics for such a long time i guess heres a treat lah kan haha

YFC 13-15.03

2009-03-15T18:16:00.000-07:00

i just got back from Youth For Christ (YFC) camp yesterday and boy am i tired.lemme go trhu it day by day (or shall i say haru haru?) okie dokes?

13.03.09

i arrived at montfort youth training centre at about 6 pm and lucky for me my friend (my cousin also) roger also just arrived so i didnt felt too awkward cuz he was there to accompany me. then i went to register myself. at that time there werent that many people yet. but i saw the facilitators and i was like okayyy, all muda muda lagi so i had a good feeling about the camp. after waiting for some time tess brought me to my chamber (hahaha) which was sooooo far away but super nice compared to the boys dorm cuz we have individual toilets with heater which is super essential for me. i cannot take a shower without hot water, okay. then we went back to the conference room and learned a few songs. nice la the songs, a break from the ordinary church songs cuz its more of the alternative genre. then there was talk one i think. well i cant really recall every single thing but it was fun, that night. we went back at about 11 and lights out.

14.03.09

woke up at 5.30 and went for morning exercise. i thought like super tiring stuff check check run two laps only k hahaha. then we have the reflection. then we went for breakfast i think. then what ah.. oh yeah, we sanged again. then there was jessys talk followed by discussion groups and a game called hip hip hooray. me and marc was so close to winning but i lost the battle sobs hahah. then we had lunch. super sadap ok, props to whoever cooked it. after that got singing again, then got talk 3 by theodore. then we had group discussion. then it was confession time followed by the one to one. i did mine with shelby WHO SO TOTALLY ROCKS I LOVE YOU GRRRRRL :). after that we were supposed to have group discussion but i dont know what happen so last2 i went back to my room and talked to jill. then at 6 we had dinner and sang a few songs. after that it was kuya junifer's turn to talk. nice oso la his talk, which was followed by the pray over session. the most touching moment was when joey the keyboardist played the song power of your love and everyone started singing. i swear on my chocs it was super touching till i cried okay. then we had praise and worship which was also very touching. if i said i sang my heart out it would be an understatement. it was more like i sing my heart + liver + stomach + intestines (both large and small) out. then we had the group presentation. honestly we had the suckiest presentation cuz we came up with it like 5 minutes before the presentation but i consider it to be okay. all the other teams did a wonderful job and i especially like the presentation by the service team, it was soo.. i dont know. touching doesnt even come close. that night we went back at like 12.30 and i slept at 1.30. tiring but super fun day.

15.03.09

last day of camp.

taking the fact that i didnt have much sleep the night before, i woke up and found myself struggling to keep my eyes open. i think i even tertidur in the bathroom skijap =.= i think jillian, don, raychell and i were one of the early birds so while waiting we slept at the montfort canteen. morning exercise was cancelled that morning due to people coming down late hahah. so we went with our reflection. this time i loved the reflection cuz like we were facing the sunrise and i was smack in the middle, kena tembak the sunlight somemore but its ok, i liked it. then we had breakfast and that day's breakfast was nice. after that we sang a few songs then it was talk five. after that we had lunch again and mingled with people. then it was time for the parents thingy. i was kinda sad u know cuz my parents werent there but its all good lah. that moment was so touching and just watching them, it made me cry. good thing i had friends and all the hugs i need hehehehe. and then i became a yfc member :) i gave a sharing too on that day. i didnt prepare anything but i dont know, i didnt felt nervous even one bit. and good thing to see people laughing when they hear what i had to share. hahahhaha nice pula talk in front of people.

all in all i was soooo glad i went to the camp. good thing u asked me kan do? ;)

youre a problem to solve.

2009-03-08T04:31:00.000-07:00

EXAMS FINALLY OVER SCREAM BEBEH SCREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

okay ignore that, happens all the time.

last paper was on last fri and boy was i happy. im actually surprised how fast the week passed by, it always felt like an eternity but this time it was just like a couple million years (:?) but anyway, i think i did okay this time, except for the part where i sinned hahahah. alah, as if theres anyone who never did the same.

so now its sunday. i went to idp edu fair yesterday and only managed to talk with two college reps, trinity of university of melbourne and taylors in UWA. both seem like a sweet deal and i can enrol as fast as january next year. seemed like a good idea cuz it will give me extra time to study and familiarise myself than if i enrolled in april. but then id have absolutely no time after spm. gahhhhhh this is too adult stuff for me. =.=

repeat after me : i am a chocolate, a chocolate am i ^^V

hm.

2009-03-02T23:13:00.000-08:00

can i ask just one thing pretty please. whats normal to you? if i say eating a bucket full of chocolate is normal, but you say otherwise. then which is normal? am i not normal enough? if its not enough then how much is enough? if im not normal then am i abnormal? or just plain wrong? what is normal to you? tell me pretty please.

tagged by JESSYYYYYYYY

2009-02-28T21:40:00.000-08:00

Okay, before we begin..let's get things straight first..
Read the rules and then start answering some Q's. Got it? The questions below are all based on friendship, love, family and life.
The rules:
a. Read the rules.
b. Read the questions.
c. Answer the question truthfully.
d. Tag at least 8 people.

1. What letter does your name starts with?
-J
2. How old are you?
-seventeen. to be.
3. Are you in high school or just graduated high school or in college?
-high school.
4. What is the colour of your eyes?
-dark brown.
5. What is your body type? Be honest.
-petite. REALLY PETITE.
6. Are you a bi or gay or lesbian or straight edge?
-i have an affection for chocolate.
7. Do you believe in love first sight?
-nah.
8. Have you ever been in love?
-yes.
9. If you answered "Yes" in question 8, what its like to be in love?
-its like..swimming in the deep blue sea like a dolphin. but instead of water, its chocolate.
10. What letter does ur bf/gf starts with?
-C
11. Do you support abortion?
-no. what if the unborn happens to be the next most handsome guy on the planet? cant risk that man
12. Have your heart ever been broken?
-noh.
13. Would you protect your friends if they're in danger?
-absotutamente.
14. Would you forgive your friend if he/she stabs you in the back?
-yes. not like it never happened before.
15. Are you a caring person?
-im like an angel, honey. LOLZ JK
16. Do you love your parents?
-yea.
17. Do you have any brothers or sisters?
-yes.
18. Do you like having brothers or sisters?
-theyre okay, i guess.
19. What is your favourite cursing word?
-dunno. currently ive been saying shitballs a lot but i dont think its a curse word..
20. Do you like to curse?
-its spontaenuous, cant be helped.
21. Which celebrity that you think is hot?
-channing tatum.
22. Which singer do you think is fake?
-miley cyrus.
23. What can't you live without?
-ice cream, chocolate, chocolate icecream, junk food, real food, food, money to buy food, people, stories, you?
24. What do you treasured most in your life?
-people around me.
25. What are your current obsession?
-hippie clothing and t bar sandals.

Last Question...
26. What is your favourite colour/s?
-dont have any.

Solution to question number 26.
Black- Loner. You have a dark soul in you and you like to be mysterious about your life.
Blue- Calmer. Damn, its hard to make you angry. Why can't you get angry for once??
Red- Protecter. You are strong and you protect the ones you loved although you know you get killed.
Green- Peace lover. Aww, i'm proud of you. You love peace and you would do anything so you can make this world a better place to live.
Yellow- Likes to smile. You like to spread joy to the world. Good for you!
White- Angel. You have a kind soul in you. You cared for the ones you love.
Pink- Sensitive. You're a soft-hearted person. You shed tears easily.
Purple- Lover. You'll fall for someone too fast. Get to know them first.

i tag DONSIE, TITUS, IVA, SARAH, ADVERAY, ALDO, FAYERZ

unPOLL

2009-02-23T14:01:00.001-08:00

sokay, to everyone out there who reads. yes i am talking to you bookworms out there. i wanna ask you this, do books influence you taste in the opposite sex? I'm setting up a poll, just for general knowledge you know. And also for future references hehe. Your co-operation is highly appreciated okie dokes!

EDIT;; okay there were some technical problems so i had to remove the poll. i dont have enough time to redo it so ill do it later, when i come back from school. no, i mean tuition.

I WUV YOUH EDWARD CULLEN!

ramblings.

2009-02-18T14:09:00.001-08:00

doesn't it annoy you that sometimes

when you try your very best

to help someone,

they just go

'oh why thank you'

and then use you?

doesn't it?

vday.

2009-02-14T21:50:00.000-08:00

in between emotions

it should never happen

this has got to stop

before i burst and pop.

guess what i did for valentine. cross country yipppieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. MOST STUPID THING EVER. but okay oso lah, at least i burned a few calories. this year i didnt give valentine gifts to anyone. except titus lah. hehe im broke bah ppl, next year okie dokes? and to those who gave me gifts, im very grateful and thank youh sow much!

yummeh~

tagged by donsie.

2009-02-13T20:44:00.000-08:00

Rules :
1. Pick your birth month.
2. Strike out anything that doesn’t apply to you .
3. Bold (or italicize) the best apply to you .
4. Copy to your own blog , with all twelve months .
5. Tag 10 people.

My birth month is.....

JULY:

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed(which is kinda all the time). Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly(oh yes i sparkle and shine :P). Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations(sorry but dont worry, ill get to know u before making any comments haha). Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked(cari gaduh la if berani lolz). Prone to having stomach and dieting problems(and the problem is i wanna diet but never had enough willpower to avoid food nyumnyum). Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

The meme:

JANUARY:

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:

Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:

Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:

Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:

Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:

Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:

Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:

Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable

DECEMBER:

Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy.Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

i tag cassandera, sarah pearly, alferafera, titussimooo, fayerz gayerz, jessy, marieanne, and cinthaa.

stick like a poster on the wall.

2009-02-08T02:10:00.003-08:00

sometimes i wish things would happen in a flash, and the aftereffects would go by that fast too.

what to do.

2009-02-06T22:53:00.000-08:00

*fairytale song starts*

ever since i was a child, i never liked change. especially when i first moved to another school in another place. but then my family started moving frequently, so i kinda got used to it. thus, i became one with Mr. Change. Mr. Change meets me regularly. but lately, we've been inseperable. i think its safe to say that he's been sticking with me since the first day of this new year. oh, did i tell you about the presents he always, ALWAYS, gives me? yea, hes quite a giver. not all of them are good though, but hey what can i do but receive? but theres one gift he gave me this year that doesnt fall in either the good pile or the bad pile. in fact, i dont know what to do with it. should i take it? should i chuck it? i like it but at the same time i dont want to cuz i know theres gonna be consequences. its like a rose, you see. i wanna hold it and keep it in my pocket but i dont want to get a cut. argh Mr. change, sometimes i just hate you.

Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans (dont read if you havent seen the movie)

2009-01-25T18:15:00.001-08:00

okay so last night i went to the movies with hawford and ornel. it was already 111 when we got out of my house so there werent that many movies to choose from. in fact there were only two, bride wars and underworld 3: rise of the lycans. i actually wanted to see bride wars but its a girly movie and i was the only girl so it wasnt fair to the other two. so we watched underworld. i have never seen the previous two underworld movies because i always thought that underworld was.. well boring. but being me, all my perceptions about movies are wrong man. i thought trandformers was boring. WRONG. i thought resident evil was boring. WRONG. so when i told them that underworld is boring, boy was i wrong.it didnt turn out to be those crappy action movies where they keep on fighting and saving something or someone and fighting throughout the movie. no, this one has emotions lagi. which kinda surprised me since... since... okay i dont know but it surprised me for some reason my mind wont share with me. but some parts of the movie are funny though. like him;

why is he always surprised/mad with anger? even when hes talking normally his eyes only have one expression : 'look at my eyes! im angry! is it obvious?! if not, i shall stare harder and open bigger till my eyeballs pop out of my socket!! im angry!!!!!!!!' yo, we know you're the evil ruler of whatever place your ruling but theres no need to show it all the time, okay? and one more thing. WHAT IS UP WITH THE CONTACTS MAN? its like a glowing turqoise kind of colour, like laser. seriously, i thought he was like cyclone with the laser eyes. i was litereally waiting form him to shoot or laser those lycans. hahahhaa, he did look funny. u know what other thing is funny? him;

i personally think hes looks too nice to be the leader of a pack of werewolves. and hes small. and he looks like jesus mannnn. i swear, ornel and i were like' omg that guy looks like jesus' all the time. well not exactly all the time but you get my point. and whats more weird is that how can a nice guy who looks like the Son of God can morph into this;

weird. but i think lycans are very cool.

one of the parts i like most is when Sonja was killed by the sunlight. she like burned at turn to coal or rocks or something like that. hahaha, i actually thought she would shimmer and shine like Edward Cullen from Twilight. but i guess hers was cooler.

there was also a hot sex scene, i think. but thanks to the censorship board, that scene was cut. they only showed Lucian and Sonja in slow-mo. honestly, they kinda look like they were going down the slide. :/

but anyway, i enjoyed the movie. im looking forward to see underwold and underworld 2.

dont mind me, i just effing hate the system.

2009-01-24T18:14:00.000-08:00

they say teachers play an important role in molding the students. so surely the teachers have to be at their best behavious at all times to be great examples for the students, am i right? but what i have experienced throughout my life is something a little contradictory to what i have said earlier. im not saying its the total opposite but it sure isnt that.

in my 16 years of school i have moved to 4 different schools. and in each and every school i noticed that students are not treated like how they should be. once again, i am not pointing my finger to the teachers only.

when the students misbehave, given that they are in a large group like say during assembly, the teachers tend to shout and scream or whatever it is theyre doing, at them. now, the reason i think this is inappropriate is that because this is unfair to the obedient students. no one likes being shout at. and teenagers, knows for being quite a rebel, would certainly feel challenged. frankly speaking, this method of teaching the students a lesson is not suitable. logically thinking, the students wont feel anything if the teacher just shout at them like that. and the other good students would feel angry and would hate the system as well.

so, what they should do, instead of screaming at the top of their lungs very day, is to take individual action. like, punishing only those troublemakers. it is possible lah, every school has their own prefect body or student council, right? thats what theyre supposed to do. jeez, even i can think better.

* this is not an insult to the teachers. im just expressing what i think and using my right of freedom of speech.

saranghae hanggung yo

2009-01-20T04:51:00.000-08:00

i miss this :(

id love for you to take to a roller coaster ride.

2009-01-20T04:47:00.001-08:00

okay its the second day of excel now. so far its okayyyy lah. wasnt as hard as i imagined it too be. now before u say anything please note that i actually imagined excel to be super effing hard like have to really perah otak. but nah, ive had harder questions. SO FAR LAH. i seriously cant wait till cny. i really need to get some sleep, i look like a walking zombehh.

only 5 more days of pain!

something i never got the chance to finish.

2009-01-16T20:25:00.000-08:00

Chapter One: The first time they met.

It was a beautiful summer’s day. The wind was blowing breezily, the sun shining brightly. Thomas Landon, or Tommy, was on his way to the beach, driving his brother’s precious car, a late 80s Toyota Camry. The car as ancient, but he didn’t want to let go of it. It was the only thing that connected him with his brother, Carter. All his other possessions were destroyed in the fire. Although it was 3 years ago, Tommy had never forgotten about it. Each painful memory was still stuck in his head. He didn’t want to forget about it, but it was a burden for him. Everywhere he looks he remembered all the things he and Carter used to do. He turned to his left and saw the ice-cream parlour. Again, memories from the past began to fill his mind. That was where they used to treat each other sundaes after a game. Tommy smiled. Good times eh bro, he said to himself.

            When he arrived at the beach it was already bustling with people. As he got out of his car, someone tapped his shoulder from the back. It was none other than Lucy Stevens, his girlfriend of 2 years. Lucy was the typical popular girl. She was head cheerleader, president of the student council, a straight A student and on top of that, she was blessed with amazingly good looks and a sizzling hot body. While God was generous on the physical side, He forgot about her personality. Lucy Stevens was known for her rude and demanding attitude. It is true when they say she gets what she wants. Born in the wealthiest family in the Orange County, that wasn’t a problem. No one really understood why Tommy wanted to be with Lucy, they were two very different people. Tommy was more laid-back and nice, the total opposite of Lucy, who was dubbed ‘control queen’ and was known to be the meanest person in The OC.

            “Hey sweetie. You’re late,” said Lucy.

            “You know how it is here. Traffic’s been hell.”

            “Ugh! Don’t they know who you’re going out with? I’m going to tell Daddy about this,” And with that, she took hold of Tommy and proceeded to their usual place. Hand in hand.

            “Nikki! Nikki!”

            “Nikki, get your ass down here NOW!”

            “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

Nikki raced downstairs as fast as she could. Geez, can’t he wait a sec?, she said to herself. It’s not like I have supersonic speed or something.

            “What?”

            “Send me to the beach.”

            “What the hell? Can’t you go there yourself?”

            “I would if I could, stupid. Fetch the car keys. I’ll meet you in the car. And don’t forget to bring some money, I need to get a few stuff from Hardy’s,”

Nikki’s sighed. Since the death of her mother, her dad has been treating her like a maid. All the housework was done by her. And she had to raise herself. Her dad suffered from an injury inflicted two years ago. That incident has made him weak and he was forced to quit his job. So, Nikki had to get a job to support her dad and herself. Her Aunt Lara helped a bit, by paying half of her dad’s medical bill. Her dad’s tiny savings took care of the rest. Even so, she barely had enough money. Sometimes, she had to sell some of her stuff just to make sure there food on the table for them. Life was hard for Nikki, but she had big dreams. She wanted to sing ever since she was a kid. She wanted to feel what it’s like being the popular one. She wanted to feel what it’s like to be adored, idolized. She knew it was a fat chance. But she never stopped believing.

            It was almost 2 when she got to the beach. After dropping her Dad off, she wasted no time in going back. She stepped on the pedal and heard a loud sound from the engine. The car immediately stopped. “Damn!” cursed Nikki. She popped the hood and clouds of smoke attacked her. Coughing, she turned and stopped, surprised. Because in front of her stood Tommy. Her crush since kindy. Nikki didn’t know why she ever fell for him, but she knew those blue eyes of his had something to do with it. Those eyes were her kryptonite. She didn’t realize how long she stopped breathing when Tommy spoke.

            “You okay, um...”

            “Nikki.”

            “Right, Nikki. You okay?”

            He knows my name.

            “Y-Y-Yes.”

            God you’re such an idiot Nikki. Of course he knows, you fucking told him. Stop stuttering already!

            “Mind if I take a look?"

            “Yes. I mean, no. Go ahead.”

            What is wrong with you? Get a hold of yourself!

            “It seems that something’s wrong with your battery. This car needs his doctor.”

            “Really? But how am I going to go back? It’s a her, by the way.”

            “Take a cab, dummy. What, you expect Tommy here to give you a ride?” Lucy said. Lucy emerged from Tommy’s back. She looked impeccable, as always. Clad in a stripy tank top and a white Capri, obviously designer, she glowed like a princess. A pair of gorgeous shades covered her blue eyes, her head covered with a straw hat that Nikki knew was worth more than her car.

            “Yea, I think I’ll just take a cab. Wouldn’t want to ruin your day,” Nikki said, modestly.

            “No, it’s cool. I was going to go past your house anyway. I’m going to Hardy’s. Come on, Nikki.” Nikki stood dumbfounded upon hearing Tommy utter those words.

            “But what about–”

            “Don’t worry Luce, I’m going to come back. I’ll be gone for 15 minutes, tops.”

            Lucy stared at Nikki. “Whatever,” was all she said.

            An uncomfortable silence was heard on the way to Tommy’s car. “I–” they said in unison.

            Nikki let out a nervous laugh. “You go first.”

            “Nope, ladies first.”

            “Well, um, thanks for helping me out.”

            “No problem. It’s the least I could do. Besides, I didn’t really felt like hanging out with them. Want to go grab some ice-cream? I know a place. It’s got the best ice-cream ever. You’re not in a hurry are you?”

            Oh. My. God. Thomas Landon wants to buy me some ice-cream.

            “Yes!” Nikki shouted, practically.

            Tommy grinned. “Wow, a little enthusiastic, are we?”

            Immediately, Nikki turned red. Fuck, why did I have to go and do that? Now he’s going to think that I’m a freak.

            “Well, I love ice-cream.” Nikki beamed at him. And to her amazement, he beamed back at her. “Me too.”

pass up your homework next friday - 761927524 teachers

2009-01-16T19:55:00.000-08:00

CAN WE PLEASE REWIND BACK TO LAST YEAR????

its only the second week and im so tiredddddddddddddddddddd. :(

im ready fo youh!

2009-01-05T05:34:00.001-08:00

here i am typing away when im actually supposed to get into bed. but i have to let this out while its still in my head. its not that important to you guys but i wanna be able to get past another year and reread this post.

2008.

the year that made the most significant impacts in my life.
last year i moved to a new school.
last year i was the new girl.
last year i had to adapt.
last year i adapted and fit perfectly.
last year i had new subjects.
last year i couldve shoot my head off because of these subjects.
last year i did terrible at school.
last year i swore i couldve kill her with a fork.
last year i made a whole bunch of friends.
this year we're still friends.
early last year i put on a fake sheet of confidence.
weeks later i developed a natural one.
last year i followed activities i never thought i would be interested in.
last year i pwnd them. along with my group members, of course.
last year i learned the art of sneaking out and sneaking in.
last year i never got caught.
last year i swore i would never fall again.
last year i fell.
last year i ended it.
last year i stayed single ever since.
last year i had a period of mixed emotions.
last year i went to more parties than i ever did in my whole lifetime.
last year i enjoyed like hell.
last year i had my first real hangover.
and it was terrible.
last year i stayed away from alcohol ever since.
last year i was super busy.
last year i neglected some of my friends.
and im very very sorry.
last year i went to stay with my foster family in korea.
last year i i experienced winter.
last year i lived like a robot.
running on nothing but candy and coke.
last year i had no time for my family.
i had no time for myself.
last year i gave my all.
last year i the time of my life.
but its all said and done.

its 2009 now. i wonder whats gonna happen this year? but then again, surprises are always better.